2016.

A new year.

Finally.

2015 was, without question, the worst year of my life.  I managed to keep it together.  I didn’t hurt myself (though I wanted to) or anybody else.  I got up and went to work; I held onto my relationships and wasn’t a complete bitch to the people I love.  I made it work.  I survived.  But it was the worst, saddest, angriest, most heartbreaking year of my life. My mama’s illness shattered me, and her death only made me realize how broken I already was. I didn’t sleep for weeks and felt, day after day, like I simply couldn’t breathe.  I realized I have no idea what I want for myself, now that I can think about myself again.

But it’s a new year.

The memory is never going to be gone, but I have let the pain pass over me and through me and I can move on.

So, in this new year, I am going to start thinking about what I want for myself now.  I’m going to start trying looking for healing, joy, and fulfillment again.  I’m going to fight to get back on the road this blog started with: the road to finding what brings me bliss, to fueling my passions, to chasing my dreams.

To that end, I am pledging to blog, at least once a month, about something that makes me happy. A trip I’ve taken, something I’ve written, or any other thing that has recently brought me joy.  Starting today.

Today I am going to be thankful for my love of the outdoors, the resources I have for enjoying it, and the amazing people I get to enjoy it with.

IMG_20151009_135915116In October, on my first vacation in 2 years, I went camping at Ochlockonee River State Park, not far from home.  I loaded the kayak, the camping gear, and myself, and off I went.  3 days of sleeping in a tent, paddling local rivers, cooking outdoors, hiking, and enjoying the animals.

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Rare white squirrel, which we see often in our area.

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The Steinhatchee falls (photo by my good friend Jana)

In November, the weekend after Thanksgiving, some of my favorite people and I loaded the kayaks, caravanned for nearly 2 hours south, and paddled down the

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My sweetheart & his tie-dyed kaykak.

Steinhatchee river, on one of the prettiest, warmest days we had the entire fall.  It was delightful, and I was reminded how blessed I am to have people I love who love the same things I do and enjoy sharing those things with me.

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There’s no such thing as a bad day on the river.

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